lazy wong and thefountain of financial advice.

first off, my exams're over! woot!

wait a sec.

what exams could someone who hasnt even begun varsity yet possibly have?

well. ive just finished the 3 examinations that are a prerequisite for financial advising. in other words..

wongcheok is now an insurance agent.

... okay... alright already! no need to run and hide dammit. i wont sell to you la. its only the exams, i havent exactly fully qualified yet. but it'll be pretty soon, that i can tell you.

blog more on that in abit. i hafta make a special mention first. i have won an award, everyone! and not just any award! i've beaten some pretty intense competition for... a Woonie! a Woonie? wtf is that? think of it as something like the Grammies, the Baftas or the Braydons or some other retarded name that parents dish out these days. woot! here's an excerpt of my sweet victory:

"And the winner is.... *drum roll*.... Wongcheok! Despite going for Wullaby, and doing some stupid video, there was never a doubt who 'The Lazy' belongs to. Better known as 'Lazy Wong', you can be sure this award will go right next to Wongcheok's all-time favourite piece of furniture... the bed!"

read more here, fans of the great lazy wong! i must say, woon's writing is getting better by the day, he just freaking cracks me up silly. its just too bad he just cant chat up a girl for nuts. ive been trying to exhort him to take up some pr job of some sort because he really is an attention slut just like me so he can work on his communication skills, but the fella just wont get his damn arse up to even search for one. it takes one to know one, and thats why woon is one of the select few capable of presenting my great damn self with such a prestigious honour.

back to the fine art of harassing people insurance. hey, its really not that bad y'know. i mean, seriously. we all need insurance. thats a fact. its just that people

a) dont like being harassed along the street

b) dont fancy paying a portion of their income for something that they cant see

c) dont like being harassed along the street

d) are seldom are as hot, gorgeous and sexaye as i am. oh wait. this has nothing to do with insurance.

well, okay. im sure you can think of many better reasons. but c'mon, admit it - everyone's gotta have some sorta insurance, yes? what does this mean? insurance is useful, people. insurance provides for your family and loved ones when you need the dead presidents the most. and aww hell, there's worse you can splurge your dough on.

since marketing insurance is a commission based job, lemme give y'all an example of a shittier commission based and commercially marketable product...

hold your breath.

the... BIO MAGNETIC MATTRESS.

christ! has ever a more retarded scam-your-ass-off product ever been made? if you've already bought one of these - well, i hate to break the bad news to you, but that sgd1500-2500 mattress you're sleepin on? that nabehdous rectangle of fluff costs a mother-fuck-fuck-fuckety-fucking thirty dollars to produce.

didnt hear me right? a mother-fuck-fuck-fuckety-fucking thirty bucks, asshole. did i sound like constantine when i said that?

believe me when i say this. i got the info from a friends who was an ex manager working in one of these mlm firms(no, i didnt buy any of these white elephants). its really not much of a question where all the profits go to, either. you've got plenty of agents/entrepreneur-wannabes running around proclaiming how happy they are or how rich their bosses are when really, its only the latter that's true.

if you're still clutching your head in disbelief that your entrepreneuring spirit is a complete load of bull, and still wanna persist in funding your ah beng boss's ferrari - go ahead, why dont you? sucker.

read up adrian's entry on the mlm industry for further enlightenment. ignore the part about arts fags being sucky though - i havent gone into arts yet, see? i will single handedly change this opinion of arts people being faggots and revolutionise the image of arts. because i am so damn good looking and eloquent.

im sorry. thats abit too much of a lie, even for me. i cant change people's opinions, nor can i revolutionise anything save for being lazy. my heart sinks with the reality that.. i shall.. just have to.. stick to being my hammsom self. *single tear trickles down cheek*

in today's music wise: we're heading down screamo alley for a change! hawthorne heights boasts a 3 guitar arrangement which makes for some pretty nifty melodic layouts. plenty of layered vocals makes their songs really, really catchy.

featured band: hawthorne heights
key listens: ohio is for lovers(a must-hear, imho), angels with filthier faces & silver bullet