A Thorn For Every Heart

I just spent a lazy saturday playing DotA and doing readings in central library. I am now an official lifeless chao mugger toad.

Anderson, 25 year old p.e. teacher and my former canoeing coach, is getting married the saturday after next. Andy's 26 this year, and i'm 22. Somehow, it... worries... me.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not flipping out over his choice of bride. It's just that... I don't see how it'd be possible for me to find a decent girl, fall in love and settle down, all in the span of a short 4 years from now. I really don't think that it'll happen for me the way it is for him - for starters, I don't even remember what it's like to actually like someone.

Here's the curious part about being emotionally dead - I can't quite tell if it's me perpetuating the signal-jamming, or if it's just the way things already are.

Confused? You should be - i'm writing this after 4 consecutive Defenses of the Ancients, it's 2:09 in the morning, plus i'm kinda tired. Like, just a teeny weeny lil' bit tired. Like, goddam fucking tired. Either or - your choice.

Anyway, back to what I said earlier. The only girl pals i've more or less allowed into the inner recesses of my friendship circles - Well, okay, the only girls i actually trust- are those I know i'll remain absolutely platonic with; it's too much hassle interacting with the rest. No, really - I don't dig coy looks, suggestive overtones, movie dates and other what-have-you's much. In truth, I kinda detest the entire lot, and there's nothing more I ask for than a companion with whom I can share beer on a breezy evening and ramble on about the fuckness of life.

Problem is, i've got this mentality that girls can't seem to appreciate that.

Also, I realise that as the number of females i've gotten to know rises, so does the realisation that quite alot of these girls are fucked up in some way or another. Either i've a taste for meeting dysfunctional chicks, or i'm just a magnet for trouble. I suspect it's abit of both.

So you see - there's a sudden spike in the numbers of fucking weird girls i've been making friends with. Coupled with the inherent belief that girls are sneaky, devious creatures who desire nothing but to steal my mojo... No no no, i'm rambling - sorry, quite tired. What I MEANT was... Coupled with the inherent belief that girls are dumb, plus my laziness to elaborate my desire for a buddy rather than a stead, well... Let's just say that i'd rather be lunching in arts canteen with the library guys any given day.

Girls are troublesome like a Bone Fletcher harassing you with Flaming Arrows. Girls drain your money like Pugna's ultimate can drain 195 health/second - 7 seconds and you're gone fuck. Girls resort to emotional blackmail, and I can't bring myself to bash their skulls in with a Cranium Basher whenever this happens because girls, as according to social norms, ought not to be beaten by persons of the male gender. So it's alright for wives to beat husbands, but it's socially unacceptable for the opposite to occur?

Oh, gimme a break. D'ya realise that the championing of feminist rights entails that guys should treat girls like shit? I mean, equality of the sexes implies the removal of all gender discriminations, correct? So we remove things like 'ladies first'; us guys won't need to hold doors and chairs for women no more; beauty pageants are abolished; magazines neither post pictures of beautiful women on their covers, nor do they have eye-catching titles like "Sex!"

Why, you say? Simply because these are all examples of gender stereotyping and discrimination, in that all the aforementioned examples propogate the female sexual stereotype and prescribe women as being subordinate to men. As such, I really think my point in Sociology tutorial was really quite valid - if any chick tells me she wants equality for women, i'll start treating her like shit straightaway. Don't pass Go, don't collect $200... Straight to being Treated Like Shit.

Girls are wonderful creatures, in that they can be pretty easy on the eye - too bad a large majority of them make me wish I were hard of hearing. And the fact that some girls (if you can even call them girls - i prefer things) even resort to PHOTOSHOPPING THEIR LEGS and DISGUISING THEIR EYES to look good... What's the world coming to, I say!

Alright, it's late and I should be sleeping. As you can tell, I R rambling.

If all the best guys are either taken or gay, where then have all the decent girls gone? Fucking hell, this is a question for the scholars man.