assorted short stories

I'm an A2 in college GP but i'm on the verge of flunking the introductory varsity English Language module.

like, whaddafuck. all technicality ought to be banned from the academic world; it'd sure as hell make things easier and much more enjoyable.

to quote Michael Crichton in The Lost World:

"Remember - God is in the details." Levine said.

"That's your God," Malcolm replied "My God is in the process."


Seeing as to how the police taser guns dont seem as effective as they're made out to be (on its virgin outing, it took 2 shots to take a knife-wielding man down), i highly recommend an alternative use: hang 'em tasers from the handrails of public transport, such that innocent passengers will now have the capability to defend themselves from Monkeys Who Do Disgusting Things on the trains or buses.

ape-man, who sat 2 seats away on the bus home and was furiously mining his nostril caverns so hard he might've needed a pickaxe, comes immediately to mind.

ratfuck bastard. why do we continually respect our elders when they're always the culprits of such dipshit acts?


I scored 23/25 for my philosophy essay. that's an A grade, folks!

this cements my status as both Philosophical Genius and Guru Of All Things Female (all women are walking examples of paradox, you see).


After 3 hours of sleep and 13 hours spent in school (i'm not kidding. really.), i guess you could say that i'm a leeetle beeet tired. and as such, this post dies here.

alas, poor Yorick!


P.S - that last line's from Hamlet, you silly prude you.