7

well, fuck me but the blogger screen looks outright ridiculous on my laptop now. obviously blogger is doing some fuck thing to their layout which forces me to type in a pale brown window at the foot of the screen.

and don't place your complete trust in mozilla, folks - it outright hung on me when i was finishing up an extremely long post last night. excrutiatingly frustrating.

... or maybe it was the ibm laptop - they sure do come with cheap half-assed complementary mice as secondary proof of this accusation, thats for sure.

anyway. i was blabbering last night about how i staunchly refused to do any memes; this comes after reading dick a.k.a darth sid's blog and seeing my handle listed in one of the entries. well, to reiterate my point before mozilla firefox so rudely refused further operation - i categorically state that i'm very much inclined against doing memes of any sort. unless they're about music.

why? because i think music is some fantastically good shit and the world is stained a monotonous gray overtone without it. and as a sidenote, if you're searching for a good tune, look no further than The Rocket Summer's Show Me Everything You've Got, which is a wonderfully fantastic track to play on monday mornings. gets the mood up, know what i mean?

moreover, i've got this deep-seated issue with the number 7. its a funny thing, and i shan't go any further than that.

on the other hand, 7 admittedly sounded like a pretty good number to start with when i was writing this...


SE7EN REASONS WHY CHICKS SHOULD PLAY DOTA


as hopefully any female who has read this blog will know by now, dota (an acronym for Defense Of The Ancients) is a game that inexplicably hot and fantastically intelligent guys excel in.

okay, we all know thats not quite right - there're some outright freaky looking bastards who're pretty good at it too. heh. dota really is a spinoff warcraft 3 game which involves pitting 5 players against another 5 for typically 45 minute-long games and watching the better team whup some candy ass.

so here's the deal: as of late, i've been preaching to several girls i know that i really think girls should learn to play dota. i mean, why not? the gaming scene could seriously use fresh injections of hot chicks man. plus, i think its cool to watch girls whup the living daylights outta guys in what is becoming a guy-dominated scene.

without further ado, my 7 reasons (because i'm too lazy to think of more)

reason 1: dota is a really fun game

this has gotta be true if there's so many of us guys playing it, right? right.

i think many girls have negative impressions of the game without even trying it once; this i blame on the inattentive and insensitive boyfriend type: y'know, the ape who drags his girl down to cineleisure e-games, sits her down beside him and just carries on fragging without any consideration for the incredibly shit-stoned chick beside him.

what the fuck is wrong with you assholes! the keyboard isnt the one giving you sexual favour under the sheets you know? do the rest of us guys a favour and be a gentleman la; at very least you could try to teach her, right? you never know if she could be your better.

of course, some girls are too plain lazy to lift a finger to even try. i really dont geddit. why? there's so many reasons i can think of which make dota enjoyable


reason 2: dota is cheaper than your average shopping spree

now, i do understand that when a girl's gotta shop, a girl's gotta shop...

... well, okay, the truth is that i don't understand it at all. girls and their endless shopping sprees? seriously, i'm fuckin' clueless.

anyhoo, lets assume you're down to your last fifty of the month: you're telling me you'd rather spend it on that mango top (exiled to far side of the closet after 3 wears) as opposed to 24 hours of quality time owning guy's asses??

c'mon, gimme a break.


reason three: hot guys play dota

prevalent logic i hear in many girl conversations involves the generalisation that all hot/cool/cute guys are either taken or gay. funny thing is, on the planet i come from all the hot/cool/cute single guys are addicted to dota and they sure as hell aren't faggots who surf gay porn.

and inevitably hot guys are attracted to cool chicks who play a mean game. its all about respect, 'yo.


reason 4: dota finetunes mental dexterity

you can't excel in the game without knowing how your opponent thinks. you can't be a good girlfriend if you don't know what your boyfriend thinks. see the correlation?

of course, you might be this complete and total bitch who doesn't give a flying fuck about your boyfriend as long as he buys you loads of stuff. well, fuck you understand. may you catch a dose of the clap from the karang guni man tomorrow (hey - sia stewardesses fuck rag-and-bone men too, remember?)


reason 5: it feels good when you trash that obnoxious fella trying to hit on you

hell yeah.

the same usually goes for people who have a grudge against. especially guys. just whup their asses at dota and watch 'em slink away with their tails between their legs. you go, girl!

plus, onlookers like myself will kowtow to you. that's how fucking cool. and its only for girl players you know - you don't see girls fawning over my 1337 (elite) skillz, d'ya?


reason 6: you will never be bored when your boyfriend goes to play dota

speaks for itself. the typical dota-playing boyfriend receives constant pressure from his girl to spend less time with his pals and more quality time with her... usually, much to his disgruntledness.

why be part of the problem? when you can't beat em, join 'em - right? right.

and you can keep tabs on your boyfriend too, if you're that much of an insecure pussy-creature - heaven forbid i ever hitch up with the type!


reason 7: because i wanna see a team of hot chicks who know what they're playing

if more girls played dota then i could effectively kill two stones with one bird. and i really like the idea - it SO rocks, dontcha think? i think girls who play dota are great. i think girls who play dota well FUCKING ROCK! OMFG THATS HOW FUCKING 1337!!

yeah, dota chicks would be cool.