when you're cut short of misery, will you pray it be the end?
give a look surprised wide eyes to me, then you'll know just what i am
the scare that triggers your fear, come know me in a different light now
come know me as god."
- delirium trigger, coheed and cambria.
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uhh. yeah. was in one of those somewhat melancholic moods on the way back home. i know, i know. i have just committed a cardinal sin of blogging - i have posted lame lyrics! nobody really gives a shit about the lyrics people post. unless they go something like:
"i was a young boy who had big plans/ now im just another shitty old man/ i dont have fun and i hate everything/ the world owes me so fuck you."
- the grouch, by green day.
hot damn! now that caught your eye, didnt it?
we can thus conclude that nobody gives a flying fuck about lame-ass lyrics, or flowery artsy fartsy poems that some asshats choose to post, unless they (a) contain a generous ladling of the word 'fuck', or (b) you can actually relate to the lyrics on a very deep and personal level. the above stanza is pretty miserly on the f-word; as such, i take it to mean that you well and truly feel a genuine attachment to what the words of the song imply.
well then... the world owes me, so fuck you.
thats what it says, dunnit? so are you feeling me now, sucker?
naw, i be just ribbin' around, yeah.
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i just caught kingdom of heaven on the big screen and i found it a rather interesting movie. most comments i hear about it are that its jerky in terms of plot development and storyline; you really should know the original version is actually about four hours long uncut. some will also comment that the plot can be rather irrelevant, to which i will reply that any movie that can keep you engaged for 2 and a half hours is usually not a bad thing at all.
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as i stepped out into the cool evening air, i felt an inexplicable sense of... loneliness. i think. dont ask me why.
well, okay. if i didnt feel like blogging about it, i wouldnt have started anyway. so do go ahead and ask me why. why wongcheok, why? why why tell me why.
i fucking slap your face la. shutup, voice in my head!
anyway, i really dont quite understand myself at times. i dont miss jolene, thats for certain
i just miss it. now, i know you be asking next: it? simply put, it refers to... uhh... its... not that simple, actually. its sorta like... having someone around? y'know?
this cant be good. ive barely started enjoying bachelorhood and already im pining for another person to spend time with. i should fucking go bitchslap myself!
sigh. its like i said, i dont understand why i can think like this. at times, i honestly wish i were emotionless. but then i wouldnt appreciate all my emo punk rock music. and i really like my emo punk rock music leh. so i tell myself "eh, rewind la; i didnt really mean that last thought."
i think im ill. i experience these terrible spasms of melancholy at times, usually during the late nights/early mornings. perhaps its because i used to have someone to talk to every evening? of course, towards the end it wasnt really talk... more like... wastage of talk-time? nonsense? rubbish? fucking truckloads of shit? however you wanna phrase it, its basically an emphasis on the level of communication which can actually occur when on one side someone's trying too hard to start up a decent topic, and on the other the person is just being fucking bo chap.
zilch. nada. nothing. hows that for comms signal strength? different frequencies la. im sure you've heard of snafu: situation normal all fucked up.
*hurrah for fuckups! without them, id still be stuck in a pretty anally retantive situation. its always good to see the brighter side of things, even when you're so far up shit creek that the sun dont really shine.*
anyway. i think my spasm has mostly disappeared. so guess this time around, it wasnt too bad. maybe you're thinking "its alright lionel. i know you're not over jolene, you all were together for so long and all... its alright to miss her sometimes..." well, fuck you! that shit's over and done with, so dont make me out to be something im not. and dont you give credit to the bitch either. its not as if it was my loss; more a gain of experience, and a major waste of time and effort.
sometimes people can be in love, with love. usually such people spend a majority of their lives being miserable, because they're constantly pining for other people. and what i find interesting is that these particular fellows plenty of times plain want to be miserable. think about it.
i know what its like to be miserable. ive seen what its like to wanna be the victim. all i hafta say is that i hope i grow up faster, so i can leave all this flotsam behind me. find a girl, fall in love and settle down. play fuck-around til im ready for greener pastures. turn gay. who really gives a fuck? i rather choose not to. i just wanna be rich.
after all, the only definites in life nowadays are death and taxes.
edit: oh wait! i shall be calling to confirm my chalet place on monday morning i.e in a few hours time, failing which i'll probably get a room. either way, must drink la. take some photos first though. so... if you're reading this, consider it a sorta pre invitation invite. opens to any chiobu who wanna drop by too.
err... right.
stfu, voice in my head!
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wongcheok 666.01 fm, your ever friendly next-door-to-hell radio station, is currently plugging tbs. elements of sunny day real estate, movielife and endpoint. betcha didnt think 3 people screaming different lines all at the same time could ever sound so damn good. dont believe me? check it out yourself.
featured band: taking back sunday
key listens: cute without the e & you're so last summer
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