growing up

I just had a mildly amusing conversation with the Kid Bro, who happens to be all of eleven years:


"Eh, Mark ah, don't you learn how to do the standing broad jump in school? They have NAPFA test right?"

"Ya... They teach you to swing the arms and jump like that..."

- proceeds to demonstrate broad jump technique-

"Eh, then ah, what did you get for NAPFA? Gold ah?"

"No la, I cannot run. Everytime I run people always run past me, then I feel like walking."

"But that one, you cannot give up what. You must run finish mah!"

"I know cannot give up, but I will end up walking one."

"Wah. Cannot like that la. You know, Kor Kor got 3 NAPFA golds in primary school leh! Next time we go downstairs and run together la. We go and train."

"Orh. Also can. Like that you better call Mummy down also."

"Eh? Why?"

"Because hor, Mummy is getting fat. You see her legs!"

"HO HO HO. Oei this kind of thing cannot say about Mummy la. She's getting old already you still want her to run? Very bad leh."

"But it's true! You go and see for yourself!"

"Hoy, you ah, this kinda thing cannot say about girls one leh. Kor Kor teach you, next time you meet girls you better not tell them they've got fat legs or whatever man..."


At this point, I find myself collapsing into spasms of chuckles at the hilarity of it all: Me discussing one of the most unfathomable mysteries of the planet... with the Kid Bro, who's ten years my junior.

Ah. The refreshing honesty that can only be provided by a child's innocence.

He takes my laughter as a slight towards him, and proceeds thereby to beat on my left arm with reckless abandon and uncompromising ferocity as I continuously plead innocence. I'm still laughing, of course.

- - - - - - -

I often lament the passing of the last 2 years - Years that could have been better spent in the company of family. All too often I chose to avoid the affairs of home and hearth, knowing fully the underlying problems present in the house, but always too cowardly and occupied with the unimportant to bother or care.

I now understand that the greatest gifts in life are sometimes right before our very eyes. I also think that this statement has become so cliched that its meaning has been severely eroded, or at best limited to deferential nods in response to its mention.

Appreciate every moment with your family - To wait for their passing is to know regret, and regret destroys even the greatest of individuals. Treasure younger siblings: They may be mere trifling to you, but you're often the world to them. Both lessons above have always been slick lies off my lips, uttered plenty of times for the satisfaction of listeners who sagely approve my seeming maturity. It's the practise portion which i'm badly lacking in, and as of late i'm learning to overcome the shame of my admittance. Because i've been trying hard to make up for lost time, and i'd like to believe that i'm actually succeeding.

I think.

It's only when we've fallen on harsher times that i've come to realise what my privileged childhood for what it was. Sure, I was too sheltered for my own good, and many a time i've had to learn about the world through harder ways. The Cons pale in comparison, however, to the blissful simplicity of my youth: I never quite worried about grades (save for the caning portions whenever I failed to memorise my chinese), I got plenty of toys over Christmas, I was constantly showered attention from family (including its extended members)... Stuff like that.

In comparison, Kid Bro's been through alot more, and has gotten alot less for his efforts. He's really gotten it tough, and i'm ashamed to say that I haven't been there for him as he's grown up.

Is it too late to start now? I don't know. But i'm trying.

Resolutions don't need New Years to be made. They're made on the street corner, as that Toyota Corolla zooms past you and you wait for the green man with your feet tapping impatiently on the sidewalk. They're made as you take the clementi exit off the expressway, shifting from 4th gear to 3rd. They're pretty much made in any given situation, and at any passing time. They're made when you realise what has to be done, and you decide to haul ass and actually DO it.

So yeah. It took me awhile, but I made this particular resolution some time after my messy breakup - I'd been procrastinating on family matters and worrying about relationships for far too long. And it might sound kinda sappy, but it does bring a warm fuzzy feeling to thine heart whenever I tuck Mark in to bed.

Which I might add happens VERY rarely. Lions can't be allowed TOO much fuzziness, can they? Detracts from the majesty and all. So yep.